Yeah so I haven't gone to work in 3 days now. I seriously need to get a hold on myself here, cause I just started to climb out of the last hole, I don't need to dig myself another one. One more week, and I'll have had one job for one year, a record for me. Well, I did have that other job for more than a year, but the last 8 months or so were spent on an LOA, so I don't think that counts.
My reality has shrunk to include my messy apartment, the just-enough in my bank account to pay the upcoming rent and buy a bus pass, my computer, the fax machines that keep calling me all hours of the day and night, and the numbness within... Nothing else exists.
I want to hurt, to know I'm still alive. I want to liberate the thick dark fluid in my veins and watch it bloom across my skin, but I mustn't. It must be kept from the treacherous air, lest it carry deadly invaders to my weak, sheltered heart.
Tomorrow, I will go back to work. I must, else I never shall.
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